Be Strong and of a good courage, Deuteronomy 31:6
I can recall these words going through my mind as his fist continued to connect with my face. This is one of the many scriptures I will come to know and recite as I stayed in an abusive marriage. He will not fail thee, nor forsake thee, I’ll utter as I struggled with shall I stay or shall I go?
I was desperately trying to hold onto my faith but was rapidly withering away. I knew it was a matter of Time before he’ll eventually kill me. The problem was, my problem was that I suffered from low self esteem. I truly believed that he loved me, and by him physically beating me was proof of his love.
Growing up I survived the beatings of my parents and siblings, and believed the normalcies of this behavior. But I couldn’t help but wonder, is there something more for me, than this. The constant beratings of my character, my worth, and my life.
But somehow, I knew God was preparing me for something better. I finally mustered the strength to leave, leaving everything behind and ready for whatever’s new awaiting me. I found refuge in God, and it was enough. Even while in darkness, I’ve always held on to the beacon of hope in my life.
I became a voice for survivors of domestic violence and molestation, and now I’m that beacon of light to all who are in this situation and for all who has left this cruelty of treatment. I speak out encouraging and empowering all to find their strength in God, and allow him to guide them as he’d done for me.
You are beautiful and fearfully and wonderfully made in God’s image. Forgive yourself because this isn’t your fault. You are loved, wanted and needed. You matter. Your life and existence matter.